If you have lived with someone in a close relationship (not like a roommate, but someone whom you love deeply), chances are that like me, you’ve been so annoyed and frustrated by some small and big things that they do, that you've wanted to bang your head on the wall in frustration. It doesn’t matter who it is, whether your parents, or partner, or kids. Living with others is hard. Period.
When I lived with my mother, we had pretty heated arguments, as am sure a lot of mothers and daughters do. I rebelled furiously many times against something that she insisted on, something that didn’t even make sense to me, or simply, something I didn’t really want to do. No less fights with my sister, during our teenage years.
Sometimes I have been so frustrated with my boyfriend, I have seriously considered punching him. Hard. Not that he would feel a thing! Sometimes I am convinced the man literally has a rhino skin.
Anyway, the point is, it is quite a lot at times to adjust to each other. And yet we do. We have those moments when we had huge, big, mega disagreements or annoying situations, and we say to ourselves “am soo not putting up with this crap anymore”, or “I am going to look for a place to live by myself”, or “I need space, maybe I won’t talk to him/ her for a few days”.
But we don’t do anything. We don’t move away, we don’t say goodbye, we don’t even take space usually. We calm down, eventually resolve the issue, we find a middle ground to agree on and adapt to each other, and we get back to normal eventually. And that is where it all falls into place. The ‘normal’.
The everyday moments that make you feel loved and treasured. The moments when you feel so glad to just have someone to go home to. The fun and silly, crazy moments. The times when some things don’t go as per plan and you know you have your family at home to hold you, comfort you, and tell you that it’s all going to be okay.
Yesterday I had some moments like that with Alex which made me realize again how special it feels to be loved. And then I reflected on and remembered some other special moments, from long ago. Present and past:
- When you're sick, and your partner, after a 16-hour day, stops by the store to get you provisions and medicines, and takes care of you till late into the night, even at the cost of his sleep and rest
- When your partner doesn’t let you touch the trash because he knows you don’t like it and throws it away himself every time
- When your mom knows you’ve had a long day, so she makes sure to have your favorite meal ready at home when you get back
- When you want to wear a particular outfit while going out but notice a snag on it at the last minute and your mom quickly fixes it for you as you continue getting dressed
- When you talk late into the night with your sister, about all sorts of things, in the dark with the lights off, and you feel a connection you don’t do with any of your friends
- When you and your siblings together hide a secret from your parents, and confer in hushed whispers over how to cover up slip-ups
- When it’s cold outside and your partner makes you a hot cup of tea even without you asking for it
Chances are, when lovely moments like these happen, we take them for granted. But they make us feel loved in different ways, brings us closer to the people we love, and we know, deep down, even subconsciously, that they make all the work and adjustments we do in our relationships, more than worth it.
My FF thought of the day comes from my sister: When you live with someone, there will be good times, and the annoying ones, and the sad ones. But as long as the good waaayyy overshadows the ‘bad’ ones, just know that you’re lucky to have the huge amount of love that you do, every day. Yes I am lucky. And so are you. A lot of your inner strength comes from the love around you. So savor the moments in which you feel loved today, and every day. Be #PowerfullyYOU.